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This was a message a lady recently sent to me. “I was about seven years old the last time I saw my mother, until later in my teenage years. My mother abandoned her last suckling baby with my father’s mother and ran to the city with her friends. Some years later, we started hearing that […]
Continue ReadingIn her response to a previous article, a lady told me her story Read her… Up till this my adult age, I still don’t understand what was happening to our mother! Our father had a job in the city, but he visited home every month and stayed from Friday to Sunday. He was a very […]
Continue ReadingThis was a message a lady sent me a few months ago: “When my mother started hearing voices in her head, she began going from one church to another. We didn’t understand what was happening to her. She also became increasingly difficult to live with. When I couldn’t reach my mother on the phone, I […]
Continue ReadingI was in the midst of some widows recently. And the experiences they shared during the encounter were an eye-opener. What is unanimous in their individual accounts about widowhood is loneliness. These are women in their 40s and 50s, and I am not sure that any of them has been a widow for less than […]
Continue ReadingI engaged the services of a plumber recently. On the morning of the day that he was scheduled to work for me, I called to remind him as early as 7 am, and he assured me that I would see him after the school run. I later learned that he has three teenagers in a […]
Continue ReadingThis was a message that a lady sent to me: “I was teaching when I became involved with a lecturer in his 50s. He is widowed, with a son. From the way he treated me, I felt that all I needed to do was say ‘yes’ any day I wanted our marriage to hold, and […]
Continue ReadingThis was a message that a lady sent to me recently. “I have a daughter whom I raised for most of my life as a single parent. She came into my life with so much grace. How we got through the toughest times was nothing short of a miracle. One of the promises I made […]
Continue ReadingThis was a lady’s recent message to me. “Have you ever suffered a rejection that made you vow to chase money and not love? I have! I was 27 years old and happily earning a monthly salary of N40,000 as a university graduate when I met a man who had just returned from Canada. He […]
Continue ReadingThis was a message that a woman sent to me recently: “We were married for about 13 years without a child. My husband (now ex) never made me feel he had any problem with our condition. He was more interested in making more money. Mind you, that was a business we built together, as we […]
Continue ReadingAccording to the young lady who sought my advice recently, a man offered to pay her five million naira if she agreed to have a baby for him. He often tells her that he is not a happy man because, although he is medically capable of having children, his wife adopted children, and he resents […]
Continue ReadingI am aware of three marriages that recently packed up. None of them is less than 15 years, and even longer if you include the number of years the couples courted. What I found common in their stories is economic challenges, although the women involved are insinuating that it’s not the economic hardship that is […]
Continue ReadingAccording to a story an acquaintance told me about a young lady whom his family employed as a domestic help, she tested positive for some sexually transmitted infections and was subjected to intensive treatment before she could move into his house. When she eventually started living with them, she made him so uncomfortable with her […]
Continue ReadingThe stories we are hearing are that some of our men abroad (who hitherto rushed home “to find a wife”) are no longer looking in the direction of our women when they are set to remarry. What we hear is that they would rather start doing “significant other” with young Caribbean ladies, who are quick […]
Continue Reading“Men are scum” is the anthem of ladies who have not healed from their bruised “love” experiences at the hands of men. Mature women, however, don’t hold such views about men. They process their experiences, whether good or bad, learn their lessons, and move on with an open mind. They don’t stoop so low as […]
Continue ReadingShe’s one of the ladies I patronise at the market. I got to her shop recently and met her picking green vegetables from their stems. Jokingly, I said to her, “Are we making vegetable sauce today?” And she laughingly said no, then added, “The children make beans with it.” Now curious, I said, “Beans with […]
Continue ReadingOne of the stories that struck me recently was about a young girl who gained admission the university last year but had to abandon her studies a few months later because she got pregnant. When asked who was responsible for the pregnancy, she claimed she couldn’t say for certain, as two young men were involved, […]
Continue ReadingIf I were a man in marriage, the first marital principle I would take very seriously is the mantle of priesthood in my home. And what that means is an end to the practice of running from pillar to post for miracles or solutions—whether for myself, my spouse, or our children. If any prayer (and […]
Continue ReadingA story that an acquaintance told me was about his uncle. That uncle of his was in his 50s when he married a lady in her early 20s. According to him, shortly after their marriage, it was rumoured that the man was grappling with erectile dysfunction. His young wife was going out a lot, and […]
Continue ReadingAt an acquaintance’s house some years back, a man walked in with two teenage children. After they left, my friend explained that he was the spouse of her deceased friend. Then, she went on to say that she had been trying to match-make him with a banker, who had not been responding positively to his […]
Continue ReadingA comment on one of my posts on social media reads, “Bad girls marry better men. Go take the census. I don’t want to talk about university ‘runs girls’ who are married to politicians and big men now.” My major concern here is the yardstick with which we even measure a successful marriage. Except the […]
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