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Abomination walked naked in Elegbeka community of Ose Local Government Area in Ondo State on November 26, 2020 when some sons of darkness, brandishing guns, killed a god. First, they cocked their guns and kidnapped the god. Moments later, they shot the god, shedding the blue blood of a first-class Ondo traditional ruler, the Olufon […]
Continue ReadingBecause there’s absolutely nothing inspiring about the most popular Buhari that I know, I can’t name my son Buhari. Buhari bawo? Naming my son Buhari would be an unforgivable sin against the infant. But, can you, my reader, name your own son Buhari? Why, if yes, and why not, if no? Naming my son Buhari would […]
Continue ReadingThe 23rd child of his father, Major General Muhammadu Buhari (retd.) joined the military in 1962 at 19 and at 40, he toppled a democratically elected civilian government to become Head of State before he was booted out of power at 42. Within the first 20 years of his working life, Buhari made hay, attaining […]
Continue ReadingWith a trap-like mouth comprising 80 spiky teeth, death is the smile on the face of an adult crocodile. In a dramatised circus that pledged to protect lives, limbs and fatherland, the Nigerian military, on Saturday, October 17, 2020, embraced the crocodile and its smile when it launched Operation Crocodile Smile. Like the smile of […]
Continue ReadingOn the bloody road to the Kogi governorship election, Yahaya Bello threatened the electorate in his re-election campaign song titled, “Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!” But Bello isn’t all about roaring guns, he’s also a humble leader, who dragged the leadership of the All Progressives Congress to Kogi — on their kneels — to beg the aggrieved citizenry for […]
Continue ReadingAfter spending over 46,824 hours in office as the 15th Nigerian Head of State without tangible achievements to show for it, Minister of Works and Housing, Babatunde Fashola, has besmeared the image of Major General Muhamadu Buhari (retd.) with the mishmash colours of green, white, grime and deceit. I’ll confess. Fashola never set out to […]
Continue ReadingFor the All Progressives Congress, it’s not raining, it’s pouring but the umbrella is with the hot-chasing rival, the Peoples Democratic Party. Each time the President, Major General Muhammadu Buhari (retd.), boots a penalty kick into a throw-in, I begin to ponder the importance of secondary school education as a useful tool for political leadership. […]
Continue ReadingIf you multiply hypocrisy by incompetence and divide the product by impunity, the answer you get is a failed Federal Republic of Nigeria led by the aged pensioner, Major General Muhammadu Buhari (retd.). Also, if you add idleness and vainglory to immaturity and subtract the result from common sense, two wantoning kids touring a sand […]
Continue ReadingMarketplace. The telltale firefly that reveals human nature. It’s the field of fortune and the mine of misfortune. Inside the marketplace are darkroom secrets that whelp wealth. The marketplace also contrasts with the muffled yelp of poverty in the sun of missed opportunities. On a visit to the US some years ago, I was struck […]
Continue ReadingAct 4: Scene I Deities don’t read newspapers. Humans do. Orita Gbaemu is the crossroads in Osogbo where deities are appeased in August at the commencement rites of Osun Osogbo, the globally acclaimed riverine festival that uplifts culture and restores worshippers’ souls. From time out of mind, the Ataoja, once in every August, sits in splendour […]
Continue ReadingShe is the final handiwork of creation. Divinely chiselled with total attentiveness, Beki personifies charm, class and candour. No man looks at Beki in a hurry. At the sight of Beki, eyes brighten, gaze and succumb to her spell. Beki is an overdose of elegance. Nature wasn’t only prodigal in lavishing beauty on her, nature […]
Continue ReadingAgain, the book fell from the sleepy hands of Kiko, a PhD student of Addictive Psychiatry. The book, “The Land of Shameless Leaders,” is psychiatry’s grundnorm of psychoanalytic dialectics on greed, deceit, impunity and heartlessness in governance. Kiko knows he can’t graduate without passing Psychiatry 999, a five-unit course. To pass Psychiatry 999, he must […]
Continue ReadingA huge outrage is currently on stage in Minneapolis, USA, where Derek Chauvin, a chauvinist, rammed his knee down a throat and inflicted a large damage to America’s formidable image of a quintessential society resplendent in racial diversity. Chauvin didn’t kneel down in prayer. He, probably, was too profane to pray. He, absolutely, was blind […]
Continue ReadingLike an arrow shot from the bowel of hell, a silver-colour car zoomed past, vroom! A merchant of death was behind the wheel. Like a lion on the heels of its prey, about 10 police vehicles followed in close hunt. It was the American law in pursuit of justice. There was no accidental discharge. No […]
Continue ReadingTick-tock, tick-tock, both hands of the clock tiptoed to 12midnight. It was December 31. Hunger and anger waved at the year 1983 which said its goodbyes and trudged towards the calendar door. Economically, 1983 was bad for Nigeria and her naira. The masses had nothing but the skin covering their bones. Stuffed up to the […]
Continue ReadingSo much dust has been raised since Abba Kyari bit the dust last Friday. When he walked the surface of the earth, the Chief of Staff to the President, Major General Muhammadu Buhari (retd.), was omnipotent. He was a sociologist and a lawyer – two unique fields that expound theories and ideas in human behaviour […]
Continue ReadingBefore 1975, the name ‘Gabber’ meant nothing to me. It was just any other nice-sounding moniker. But after I watched Sholay, India’s most successful movie in the last 50 years, at Rainbow Cinema, Mushin, Lagos, in the mid 70s, I began to hold the name in suspicion. Gabber’s initials are GS. He’s the supervillain in […]
Continue ReadingSight, the king of the five senses, is superior to touch, taste, hearing and smell. But sight is inferior to insight. I contemplated this truth last week when I interrogated the essence of a man whom life blinded with a vicious uppercut. But, instead of lying floored on his back in defeat, he rose up […]
Continue ReadingFast and furious, the song and drums roar like a crash of thunder in rainy season and she dances wildly like fire. Like a devil resisting deliverance, she jumps and gyrates with the skill of a striptease dancer. She dons a white Versace wear. She’s a famous gospel music evangelist. She chews widely on a […]
Continue ReadingHumility rarely resides in little bodies. As youngsters, short-man-devil was the jocular name we had for guys with brief physiques. We also had a name for the bumbling tall fellas, who threw their heights about as though tallness counted for wisdom. We called them Dagini Dooro, which is neither a baptismal name nor a name […]
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