I had it all figured out; how I was going to make a difference and move things forward. I have a road map, calendar, timelines and everything needed to create wealth through agriculture for Nigeria. But here we are, the wicked have done their worst. I didn’t make the ministerial list. My detractors worked with some conspirators and told President Buhari not to make me a minister of the Federal Republic. Can you imagine? And I wanted to just serve my country o. Not that I’m allergic to a couple of bullet-proof cars, the occasional dinner and ride in the presidential jet with the President and a nice house in Asokoro. All that would have been really nice but now I have to live with the reality of remaining an ordinary Nigerian without escort and pilot vehicles.
However, because I’m a good and patriotic girl, I will still share my roadmap with the man occupying the seat on my behalf, the Honourable Minister of Agriculture and Natural Resources, Chief Audu Ogbeh.
For starters, I think there is no better time than now to zone this country along agricultural lines. We can have the Nigeria Fruit Zone (FPZ) which will comprise all the states that produce fruits in abundance year in, year out. These fruits, mangoes, oranges, pawpaw, pineapple, tangerine arrive the roadside in all their beauty and glory. We price them like we are doing the farmers a favour. We haggle and haggle. The farmers in frustration call our bluff and then watch the fruits of their whole year labour rot away, the natural juice dripping away from the baskets on to the dusty road. Every time I drive through Fiditi in Oyo state or from Abuja to Makurdi, my heart goes out to the farmers who wake up early and toil for months only to sell baskets of huge mangoes for N2,000. As a minister, I would have gone into partnership with private businessmen who would set up fruit-processing plants in the FPZs. That way, the plants would be close to the supply of their raw materials. The farmers would get better value for their sweat. More people in those zones would find employment. And as the plants flourish, more people will return to the land. More farmers, new industries, more jobs. Everybody wins.
Next, I had plans to have National Ranches where modern livestock farming will be practised. No more overworked cows and rearers. We have uncultivated land spreading over thousands of kilometres in all directions, all over the country. We can and should put them to good use. Give the cows and goats, sheep and ram plenty of grazing land and introduce feeds that keep them healthy instead of beating them from Bauchi to Bayelsa. The cattle farmers can come together to form cooperative units, access soft loans to improve their business. Once we have all our ‘cattle in a row’, the next logical step is to bring in canning industries from in and outside the country to the Nigeria Livestock Zones. Every other thing will be added unto the nation’s purse. More cattle, better beef, more money and less stress for the farmers, job opportunities both on the ranches and in the canning factories. And you and I know that once one line of business is seen to be profitable, Nigerians make a beehive for it. By 2017, even the President would have been shocked at the number of Nigerians who would have become ‘cow and goat farmers’.
As at today, there is a ranch that supplies beef directly to my house on the day they slaughter, fresh meat, supplied clean. Now, I no longer need to go the market. What’s more, it is even cheaper than what I’d spend 30 minutes haggling over in the market. And those who buy in the open market know how both buyers, butchers and houseflies struggle to leave their fingerprints on the meat. Ah.
I also have great plans for the poultry business. That is one aspect of farming that this country can do magic with; layers, broilers, eggs, eateries, hotels, homes. Everybody can participate. Time on return on investment is encouraging. There are not enough eggs. We are still importing chicken that died two years ago, probably. The nation should have Nigeria Poultry Zones (NPZ) in all the 36 states of the federation.
Come to think of it, didn’t I write about the need for state to have farms many years ago? I have even reproduced it about three times since the piece Can’t we have federal farms? was first published. I think the time is more than ripe for this nation to have Federal Farms. Let each state pick an area of agriculture and do it well. Edo can plug in to palm produce. Cashew grows in Enugu the way water leaf grows on refuse heap. Just try and imagine how much money Enugu can start making in a few short years if that aspect of agric is corporately focussed on by the state. Imagine Osun state bottling palm wine in commercial quantities. We will make so much money from just Ogun and Lagos states at the weekends alone. The number of parties in those two states alone? Ask the makeup artistes how much they make, the event planners, event centres.
What about all those tomatoes and peppers growing like mushroom in the North and how we waste them? We do not even plant enough. See why we need Vegetable Zones all over the country and the cottage factories that the banks can invest in now that they have been stripped of easy government money?
To harness all the gains from the different agricultural zones, I also have a design for national job creation. Corp members of the NYSC currently earn N20,000 (N19,800 after tax) monthly. Once the federal farms and ranches are ready to start, instead of pouring ‘corpers’ back into the unemployment pool, the nation can reassign them to the farms for another years. It’s just a matter of amending the NYSC law. After that, those who do not want anything to do with agric can be join the labour market. But I’m sure of one thing, many of them would fall in love with agriculture and the thought of being their own men and women growing whatever they love. The one year would have also served as training period. The country would gain more than it would lose.
And now the crazy one. Cities like Lagos and Abuja are the pilot in this one. And it was supposed to be in conjunction with the Nigerian Police, FRSC and other traffic control agencies. The legal framework would be worked out. Here’s how it works. Lagos state, for instance, would set up a big farm. Since there are hundreds of traffic ofenders daily, the mobile courts will sentence them to between two to five hours of community service and they will be hauled off to the federal or state farm. The traffic offenders will irrigate vegetable beds, harvest okro, feed chickens, pigs or pick eggs. Free labour, reduced overhead, traffic lesson learnt. This will be a daily thing until traffic ofenders are delivered from the demons pursuing them, by which time acres and acres of vegetables would have been planted and harvested.
I think I’ve written enough for one patriotic girl that was not made a minister. Full stop.
Credits: Funke Egbemode, Daily Sun. You can reach Funke Egbemode through: egbemode1@gmail.com or 08100993984 (SMS only)