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What would you do if your little child asked: “Dad, what is sex?” That was the awkward situation a couple found themselves when their six-year-old boy dropped the question during dinner. Startled, and heaving a sigh of “well, the time has finally come”, the parents started mumbling the metaphor and euphemism of “the birds and […]
Continue ReadingHere we go again. On Tuesday, the Northern Elders Forum (NEF) issued a statement asking President Muhammadu Buhari to “seriously consider” resigning over the pervasive insecurity in the land. Several parts of the north have been experiencing devastating terror attacks, communal killings and kidnappings. The Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB) has resumed its campaign of […]
Continue ReadingTwo things happened on Thursday that forced me to write on this topic. First, I bought a copy of TIME magazine featuring “100 Most Influential Companies”. I will explain why. For 20 years, I have been challenging my wife to come up with an idea that would make us billionaires. I regret to report at […]
Continue ReadingIf only Ebenezer Obey’s mum knew! When her son said he wanted to be a jùjú singer, Madam Abigail Oyindamola protested vehemently. “In our family, we don’t sing people’s praises. Instead, they sing our praises,” the proud Egba woman reportedly told him. Not only did Obey go on to sing people’s praises, his own praises […]
Continue ReadingTranslated in its simplest form, “aṣiṣe” (ashee-shay) in Yoruba means blunder, mistake or error. But the English language perennially fails to capture the nuances of certain Yoruba words. Aṣiṣe is deeper than a mere, everyday mistake. There is an element of unusualness to it, a bit of stupidity or an insinuation of operating under a […]
Continue ReadingIn Waziri Adio’s article, “Is Nigeria Due for Another Electoral Upset?” (THISDAY, January 16, 2022), he made a strong and neat argument on the near-impossibility of an upset in the 2023 presidential election. By upset, he meant a third force — rather than the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) — upstaging the ruling All Progressives Congress […]
Continue ReadingGone are the days when high crude oil prices meant a lot to Nigeria, or should I say Nigerians. It used to mean a massive boost in our foreign reserves. This enabled the country to meet its foreign trade obligations more comfortably — without having to ration forex. We could also boost our excess crude […]
Continue ReadingWhen the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) declared “Super Cop” Abba Kyari wanted on Monday following his alleged involvement with an international drug cartel, I was very happy. Very, very happy. But my joy had nothing to do with Kyari, the deputy commissioner of police already indicted by the US Federal Bureau of Investigation […]
Continue ReadingAfter celebrating “Made in Nigeria, Enjoyed Worldwide” in my previous article, I was immediately confronted with the other side of our beloved country as we slipped into the “Only in Nigeria” mode again. It emerged that motorists had unknowingly been buying off-spec petrol. Their car engines were getting damaged. Apparently, the authorities tried to downplay […]
Continue ReadingHave you flown an aircraft before? I just did. At the first attempt, I was nervous and crashed as I tried to take off. I laughed, shrugged and gave it another try. At the second attempt, my instructor was more than impressed with my lift-off. He confessed this was a rare feat for a novice. […]
Continue ReadingA neighbour sent me a WhatsApp chat last week with a million-dollar question: “Who are we voting for?” It was an awkward question. I have been discussing all the theories about the qualities the next president should have but I have paid little attention to a crucial part of the equation: what determines the voting […]
Continue ReadingPardon me: I used the title of this article as a bait. Sensationalism is not in my character, pardon me again, but discussing who should be the next president always excites us in Nigeria. We were created for elections and permutations. I decided to trick you by making it look like I wanted to appraise […]
Continue ReadingLest I forget, I have been living in the Magodo Residential Scheme II, fancifully called “Magodo GRA” by residents, for 20 years: first as a tenant and now as a homeowner. One day in 2012, I got home and saw a letter hanging on my gate. It was written by a retired Supreme Court judge […]
Continue ReadingMrs. Zainab Ahmed, minister of finance, budget and national planning, dropped a familiar bombshell at the launch of World Bank Nigeria Development Update some weeks ago. Petrol subsidy was going to end, she said, and as a sweetener, a monthly transportation grant of N5,000 would be paid to the poorest 30 million to 40 million […]
Continue ReadingDo you know how many bakeries I have shut down today? That was the sadistic boast of an official of the National Agency for Food and Drug Administration and Control (NAFDAC) on an “inspection” visit to a bakery in the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) some years ago. To her, it is a lifetime achievement to […]
Continue ReadingThis little story says a lot about Nigeria. I was driving along Opebi Road, Lagos, when the traffic lights turned red at Salvation junction. The vehicles ahead of me kept moving nonetheless. I thought the lights were faulty but still decided to stop and watch. Then the drivers behind me started hooting as if I […]
Continue ReadingOn Thursday, I did something I had not done in Lagos since 1999: I rode in a public bus. I had taken my car for service at Oba Akran Avenue, Ikeja. I was told it would be ready “in two hours”. I thought to wait at the reception to do some office work. But as […]
Continue ReadingAs I was saying, an unliberated mind is instinctively sold to prejudice. It is a form of imprisonment. I had barely shut down my laptop after writing on ‘Yoruba Muslims and the Fifth Columnists’ last week when I received a WhatsApp broadcast that helped make my case even better. It was a post by Saminu […]
Continue ReadingA Yoruba Muslim engineer recently alleged that because of his Islamic faith, he was denied a job by Femi Osibona, the real estate tycoon behind the collapsed 21-storey building. Since then, there has been an intense debate over allegations of pervasive discrimination against Yoruba Muslims by their Christian kith and kin. I, however, find it […]
Continue ReadingWhen you sow the wind, you reap the whirlwind. This always comes to mind anytime there is an outbreak of debate over the naira. It is a discussion we have been having since, I think, 1986 when Gen Ibrahim Babangida, then military president, launched the structural adjustment programme (SAP) essentially to develop the non-oil sectors. […]
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