I always tell ladies that genuinely desire to settle down in marriage (with suitable men) that the first thing to do away with is ‘sugar daddy’-if there is any in their lives. Those who have found themselves in similar settings will confirm to you that very few things are as addictive as dating a married man-especially a comfortable one.
To start with, a man whose business or lack of it with you is pleasure, is most likely going to turn a blind eye to your ‘bad manners.’ After all, he is not going to take you home to mama…so, he focuses on just the ‘pleasure’ you give to him.
A few senior(male) friends have actually confirmed that more than half of the ladies they dated(as married men) still made moves to come back to them(as lovers)-even after these ladies have been married. This goes to lend credence to what I am talking about; ‘Sugar daddysm’ is very addictive. Such ladies plunged into marriage with the mindset of how it used to be with their ‘sugar daddy,’ only to be shell shocked with the practicality of marriage. You can’t get a grasp of real relationship with a ‘sugar girl’ mentality, which is largely a fantasy. If you desire the touch of a real relationship…quit the sugar daddy affair first and date a regular guy. That will begin to re-orientate your mind towards certain realities that obtain in regular relationships and marriage-to an extent.
Also, the lady will learn to be ‘respectful’ because (often times), a lady that is having an affair with a man that is twice her age is bound to look down on men that are younger than her lover. The mindset (which borders on arrogance/disrespect) of girls that bed ‘senior men’ is very different from those of girls that date regular (age wise) men.
I just know that it’s very hard for a lady that is into a ‘sugar daddy’ to think beyond what obtains with her married lover and the trappings of that setting. It is not in my place to tell a grown adult how to live her life but if you desire to settle down in marriage with an eligible bachelor, the first thing you should get done with is your sugar daddy…it is only then that you will have the desire to give any serious minded single guy around you a chance and concentrate on nurturing the relationship. You cannot get serious feelers from a relationship you are doing on ‘part time’ and ‘good time’ basis. Such won’t even afford you the time you need to focus (in a regular relationship) and read the writings on the wall clearly before making your final decision. Most ladies only begin to ask themselves ‘what did I get myself into’-after they have jumped into a marriage they were too busy (during courtship) to watch closely-because ‘sugar daddy’ was there to cushion certain effects.
Mind you, progress in a relationship is not when you hop from one married lover to another-especially for a lady who desires to settle down. Besides, without being told, a focused lady knows when to clean up. It is the ‘mis guided’ ones that don’t seem to realise that everything in life is a stage and that, at some point, you quit a stage to get your acts together!
Source and credit: Chukwuneta Oby, The Punch.