“I am a widow but maybe I am fortunate because my own experience with men is different. Take for example the man that I am currently in a relationship with. He’s been separated from the wife for about two years when I met him and this is our third year together.
Although, he doesn’t live in the country, it is not hard to tell he is a very responsible man. What makes me consider a man responsible or not is in his mannerism and sexual discipline. Once he is in the country, I go to the airport to pick him up and travel to his village with him, we run his businesses here together and his family has accepted me as one of their own.
We have talked marriage several times but the truth is that we both agreed that we are at a stage in our lives that marriage is not a priority. According to him, his wife and children were based in the city. And when in the country, he would often spend time with them before proceeding to the village to see his people. During one of such visits, he bought things for the only Sister he has.
His mother had only him. So, his father married a second woman, who had four other children. His step mother and her children love him so much and I will even say that he loves them more. He considers himself the father they have since their dad is late. And that is the genesis of his problem with his wife.
The woman hated how he dotes on his siblings and would often accuse his step-mother of using witchcraft to control her husband’s pocket.
It was during one of his visits that he brought gifts for his only sister who was entering the University, then. A box-load of things, actually!
According to him, two days after he left the country, his wife travelled down to the village and collected every single thing he bought for that young lady and said ‘’Your brother also has a family. He didn’t come into this world to be labouring for your mother and her children’’.
He heard about the incident. And confronted his wife and her excuse was that she forgot to pick some things she liked before he took the box-load of clothes and toiletries to his sister.
I think that was the last straw for him and he initiated a separation from her.
As I related with him and got to know him better, I kept asking myself, ‘how can some women be foolish enough to let a good man go?’
I support all the sacrifices he is making for his children. I am doing more for my children, too. Honestly, if their divorce is final and he asks me to marry him, I will marry him and nothing will happen. Some women who messed up the good thing they had with their own hands now go to social media to spread so much bile against people like us, who replaced them.
I am not quick to call any woman a “husband snatcher”.
Sometimes, your experience with the person they are bad-mouthing is different. What his wife had on a silver platter; she is now going from one pastor to elders in the family to beg for. How can you misbehave, only to start begging at the end of the day?’’
From Oby…
Marriage is not more important than good companionship. Do you know what the best therapy for a woman is? It is knowing that someone has her back. And she can call them at any time and they will answer without bothering whether or not she is calling at an appropriate time.
Having someone she can rub her mind with at the end of the day and go to sleep relaxed because the person she loves has prayed with her, even if over the phone.
A lover that when her child is sick, shows concern.
A man that cares…simply put!
It’s not hard to live happily with a good man.
Just accommodate the people that are important to them.
Don’t question their goodness, even to people that don’t deserve it.
Their life will not be a happy one if they are not being their good self.
At the end of the day, you (whom they love) will still be the biggest benefactor because whatever they are giving to anybody, they will give you more.
If you encourage your spouse to not be good to others, how can you reap goodness from them?
Women need to know when they are pushing good men to the wall and STOP themselves before it is too late.
Credit: Chukwuneta Oby